Whisper, whisper around the ground. Did he, didn't he? And anyway, what's it all about, this technical advisor thing? What is going on?

``I work as a commentator for Sky Television,'' he says, ``and then, when there are gaps in my schedule, I help the England lads in any way I can.''

But surely you can't do both, be a critic and a confidant?

``I don't agree.'' Well, you wouldn't, would you? ``Well, I would, if I thought I was compromising myself but I'm not much good at compromising myself. I don't really see myself as a critic, more as someone who tries to give television viewers an insight into the players' thinking. It's easy enough to pull people apart, less easy to appreciate what they're trying to achieve out there. Cricket has always been an easier game after you've retired. I hope I can portray that actually it's as difficult as it ever was.''

OK, so what is your job in the dressing-room?

``Generally, to encourage the players to feel good about themselves in an age when the knives get sharper by the day. And most specifically to work with the bowlers.''

Which is what he was doing in the nets with Irani when he heard about the story in The News of the World. ``See what I mean about those knives,'' he said.

Well, is any of it true? Do you really want to be the boss, for example, and put up with all the aggravation?

``That's an old quote from before my present involvement with the team and yes, it's true all right but only at the right time, which certainly isn't now. I've got a three-year contract with Sky and I want to see it out. And anyway, I like the look of the present team set-up and I think it deserves its chance,'' he says.

But you would do the job, be the supremo of English cricket, given half the chance?

``No doubt in my mind at all. Yes, but only if given control of the whole thing. Selectors are a waste of time; it's a cloudy enough pool as it is. The job would have to pay according to the absolute responsibility of having the final say. But as I've said before, if anyone was offered proper money - #150,000 a year was the hypothetical figure put to me - they'd have to be interested. What a great job, what a privilege.''

Imagine that, the great barrel of beef, the old rock 'n' roller running the show. Can't see it myself, can't see that the petty things, the bureaucracy of it all, wouldn't drive him potty. He's not exactly a picture of patience.

``Oh, I don't know, he's getting better,'' says David Lloyd. ``When I lost my rag in Bulawayo, which I deeply regret, Ian was first into the dressing-room to calm me down. 'Calm down,' I exclaimed. 'Calm down coming from you.' 'I've mellowed,' he replied.''

Which he has. As one previously suspicious member of the press corps observed yesterday afternoon, ``I've got a lot of time for Ian now, he clearly cares about English cricket and all the chat is not quite the self-promotion it used to be. God, these days he even lets you finish a sentence.''

Lloyd said he thought the situation with Botham was working a treat: ``He joins in when he's around and when he's not, we get on without him. He's a bonus, and the players love him.''

Which is fair comment - they do. Darren Gough says he gives them ``confidence, knowledge and experience'' and that there is an ``awe'' about him which they feed off. So why aren't they playing better? Isn't the proof of the Botham pudding in the team's performance? ``It's early days,'' adds Gough. ``We feel that with him in the set-up, we'll go from strength to strength.''

Believe it or not, Botham's preaching has pointed to patience and discipline. ``Exactly the things he ignored himself,'' says Michael Atherton. ``But best of all, he's giving them someone to bounce off, to grumble to, to share frustrations with. They trust him and he's good fun, too.''

``There's no magic,'' says Botham. ``I'm just trying to pass on 22 years of experience. I've chatted to Chris Silverwood about bowling a slower ball, Andy Caddick about his length, to Darren Gough about the battle back from injury, to Alan Mullally about the importance of his wrist position to make the ball swing consistently. All straightforward stuff, but when you've done it yourself, it helps to bring understanding and confidence,''

Botham is most proud about his progress with Irani, which has involved the remodelling of his action and, they claim, added a yard to his pace. ``He's practised very hard for two weeks and it's paying off. His left side is working in harness with his right as opposed to the way they were working independently to each other. He's following through more aggressively - young bowlers tend to 'put' the ball rather than really 'bowl' it by completing their action - and he has had no pain from his back,'' Botham says.

``Anyway, that's enough about me. I've got the easy job. They've got the tough job. Let's stop talking Botham and talk the team,'' he says, hurrying away to commentate.