England's Test record since they last won the Ashes in 1986-87 is so desperate that one day in the not too distant future they might have cause to hope that the Zimbabweans are not the kind of people to bear grudges.

Imagine the conversation, circa 2020, in the Harare Cricket Assocation office. ``I've got Lord's on the phone. They want to know if they can come over for a five-Test series.'' ``Tell them we've got a bit of gap in 2046, and we'll try and squeeze them into a shared series with Papua New Guinea.''

For the moment, however, Zimbabwe are grateful for England's presence here, and while the official line is that they are indebted for the chance to increase their learning curve, privately it has just as much to do with the fact that they fancy their chances of winning.

Zimbabwe beating England is, of course, inconceivable - as, indeed, it was in the 1991 World Cup, when England's batsmen were blown away by a tubby chicken farmer called Eddo Brandes, and again in 1992 in Sydney, when another defeat meant that England failed to qualify for the finals of the World Series Cup in a four-team round robin involving Australia, Zimbabwe and Australia's 2nd XI.

So when Michael Atherton said yesterday that he was ``not underestimating'' Zimbabwe on this two-Test tour, it may just have been something other than the customary press conference platitude against supposedly inferior opponents. He also knows that failure here will almost certainly take him down the same road as his predecessor Graham Gooch, who resigned his commission in the mid-Ashes shambles of 1993.

It would certainly take some explaining if England manage to lose to a team who have a serious player base of around two dozen, and a first-class domestic competition comprising two teams.

The venue for the first Test, the Harare Sports Club, resembles a modest up-country ground in Australia, and behind the pavilion, the Zimbabwean Cricket Academy sport a grand title for a building that could quite easily be mistaken for the Gents.

England's two opening one-day games over the weekend, against a Districts' XI at the Harare South Country Club today, and a President's XI at the Harare Sports Club tomorrow, might be little more than gentle pipe- openers, but when the serious stuff begins in a fortnight's time, Atherton has already been made aware that the Zimbabweans are up for it.

Alistair Campbell, the home team captain, will have few problems motivating his troops when he reminds them about England's objection to their current status, and when he was asked whether that particular business was forgiven and forgotten, his reply (abbreviated by the removal of one or two earthy adjectives) was ``you must be joking''.

Atherton, not unnaturally, expects the tour to go well, but is faced with having to motivate a team who may not feel all that well disposed towards him just at the moment.

It was the captain, given the choice of a Christmas break at home between the Zimbabwe and New Zealand legs, who chose not to, and Atherton again who was behind the edict banning wives and girlfriends from joining the players.

Graham Thorpe has just arrived after staying behind for the birth of his son, but this will be the first England tour in modern memory in which the hotel lift doors will not open to reveal a player with a bat in one hand and a bag of Pampers in the other.

Thorpe will play over the weekend, though there is a strong possibility that Andrew Caddick will miss both games as he has still not fully recovered from a viral infection. Potentially, however, the most interesting decision is the one that leaves Jack Russell to keep wicket in one of the matches, and Alec Stewart in the other.

Say what you like about England, but one thing they can never be accused of is rushing into decisions. They've been bouncing the gloves back and forth between Russell and Stewart for the thick end of six years now, and as far as Russell is concerned the captain's comment yesterday that the wicketkeeping position was a question of ``wait and see'' had a familiarly ominous ring.

There is certainly not as much between them as there once was when it comes to keeping wicket, but the fact that Stewart has rarely scored runs when asked to combine two jobs is still being treated as pure coincidence. Stewart, as ever, is volunteering to undertake any role that might be asked of him, but he would much prefer to be mentally uncluttered for the task of holding off Nick Knight for his long-time position as Atherton's opening partner.

Stewart is also one awkward take from further damage to a right index finger that has been battered so often he hardly knows whether to smear it in Vaseline and slip it inside a glove or smother it with mustard and plonk it between two slices of bread.

Russell remains favourite to keep during the Tests, but if one or two of the top-order batsmen fails to produce, the odds against Russell spending most of his trip to Zimbabwe camped under Victoria Falls with his paints and easel will shorten considerably.