What a pity, he added, that English cricket was in such a mess. Er, excuse me sir, England just beat South Africa. Maybe, he said, but the umpires did most of that and anyway the South Africans got their revenge yesterday with that convincing win at Edgbaston.
Er, but that was a 50-over knock-about and, sir, it was not so convincing that they qualified for tomorrow's final. Maybe, he said again, but that was because they lost a one-off one-dayer to Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka could never beat South Africa in a Test match.
Ye Gods! This is what cricket is up against and it wasn't as if the man was a monument for Afrikanerdom; he was a Midlander, more Uttoxeter than Eugene Terreblanche.
It was rather fun to stick up for England, made a change from dealing with the usual inquisitions about what is wrong. It got me thinking about Bob Woolmer's mid-tour comment that this South African team might be ``the best ever''. I challenged him on this and he claimed a mis-quote. What he said apparently was that history would look back on the present team as ``one of the best ever''. Well, they have some jolly good cricketers for sure and preach togetherness as their overriding strength. But they have lost two series to England and Australia this year already, so Mr Woolmer best hang on to the laurels.
What about that lot who marmalised the Australians in 1969-70? You know, Barry Richards and Graeme Pollock, Eddie Barlow and Trevor Goddard; Peter Pollock and Mike Proctor to remember just a few fairly decent purveyors of bat and ball.
Or the bunch who we didn't see much of in the early Eighties? Pollock G, Richards and Proctor still; Jimmy Cook and Clive Rice; Garth Le Roux and Vintcent Van der Bijl; Peter Kirsten and Ray Jennings, who Alan Knott modestly referred to as the best wicketkeeper in the world. I'd wager Rice and co. would have given even the West Indies of that time a run for their money.
The stark truth about the present South African team is that, surprisingly, it misfires at the moments of its sternest test. They had chances against Australia in Adelaide last winter but dropped catch after catch, and they are a brilliant fielding team.
They had 11 hours and 20 minutes to bowl England out for a second time at Old Trafford, albeit stymied as they were by injury to that combative cricketer Lance Klusener but they failed, and bowling is their strongest suit. They had a first innings lead at Trent Bridge on a good pitch but were bowled out carelessly and cheaply by an England team carrying two passengers. That fact is worth a second glance. Whatever the umpiring, 11 of South Africa lost to nine of England.
Hansie Cronje is a fine ambassador and a brave and intelligent batsman, but the best bits of his tactical captaincy come from the dressing room. This is why varied fields were immediately in position for each England batsman and why the bowling at certain players, Alec Stewart specifically, was so wide of off-stump.
It was planned that way. Stewart passed 50 only once in the series which was when England followed-on in Manchester and there was no need for him to take the game to South Africa; he could sit and wait for them for the best part of 11 hours and 20 minutes if need be.
Cronje's leadership is not quite instinctive. He reacts to what has gone rather than what might come. Witness the keynote passage of play in the series, the Atherton/Donald affair on Sunday night at Trent Bridge. Donald bowled around the wicket and short for too long. He denied himself the opportunity of an lbw which is a main way of getting rid of Atherton.
Having forced his opponent back and tensed him up, he should have switched to bowl over the wicket and as fast as he did, but at the stumps. The heat of the moment may have made Donald too subjective, Cronje ought to have worked it out.
Incidentally, I have some letters which berate Donald for his aggressive eye and the intent of his short-pitched bowling. The letters berate me too, for calling him a 'champion' but I stand by this. Donald is a champion of the cricket of his time and of the style of the age. Contrary to his look, and it is only at times, on the field he is a generous opponent.
In fact, as one, the South Africans are generous opponents and if Donald has been their signature performer then Jonty Rhodes has been their man who has most caught the eye. Few cricketers can have given greater pleasure than Rhodes - fielder supreme, batsman on speed, face locked in smile. They have given us a memorable series of Test matches and, through them, English cricket has something to boast about again, whatever the bloke in the Dog and Duck may think.