Sunday, June 15: Grudge fixture against William Heath's Gentlemen. Long drive to deepest Wiltshire for 11am start. Take two wickets for 39 in four overs - encouragingly economical with satisfactory strike rate. Out second ball but showing considerable improvement in getting caught attempting sophisticated leg glance. Gripping finish in the gloom at 8.15pm - defeat by three runs. Home by midnight to fax from opposition saying this was cricket at its very best - everyone was a winner. Draft rude reply.
Monday, June 16: Tom Graveney's 70th birthday. Long drive to deepest Gloucestershire for 7pm start. Superb celebration of the great man's three-score-and-10 with moving tribute from Arthur Milton the highlight. Basil D'Oliveira and Peg Lindwall among many on top form. The latter reveals that she is responsible for cricketers rubbing the ball on their trousers rather than their shirts. Apparently the Aussies used to have their flannels dry-cleaned at their board's expense whereas shirts were the wives' responsibility - once the immortal Ray had been persuaded to change where he rubbed, the whole world followed. Home by 2.30am.
Tuesday, June 17: Mike Atherton benefit dinner. Long drive to London Hilton. Write grace in taxi on way to dinner. Huge turn-out and all present in buoyant mood, anticipating great things at Lord's. Consequently my grace goes down a storm, though such was the mood of bonhomie, selections from Martin Guerre would have received a standing ovation. David Lloyd and Rory Bremner on top form. Jeffrey Archer as auctioneer cracks good gag about Conservative election campaign. Athers makes a well-deserved bundle and we all retire hurt at 2.30am.
Wednesday, June 18: Lord's Taverners Eve Of Test Dinner. Long drive to London Hilton. Huge array of stars turn out with the newly ennobled Lord Cowdrey, Taverners' president, controlling festivities with the sure touch first displayed at Melbourne in 1954. Tom Graveney OBE and Sir Alec Bedser guests of honour. Seventy-five per cent of the diners there for the second consecutive night, 45 per cent having simply stayed put since Tuesday. Tony Greig makes brilliant speech about the trials of facing Lillee and Thomson, gets huge laugh with ``grovel'' reference and is received as warmly as could be. Jeffrey Archer as auctioneer cracks good gag about Conservative election campaign. Home by 2.30am.
Thursday, June 19: The big day. Thousands converge on Lord's in the rain. Not a ball is bowled. Lunch lasts four hours during which Bill Brown, still spritely well into his eighties, is pressured into recalling his unbeaten 206 here in 1938. Paul Sheahan remembers the freak storm at the Oval in 1968 when the crowd was dragooned into helping the ground staff in drying the playing area. Fortunately the occupants of Roger Knight's box are not called upon for that purpose today.
Friday, June 20: Day off. Recover from Thursday by driving 250 miles to sing with rock band for three hours non-stop. Keep in touch with what play there is via radio, and note, not for the first time, how Test Match Special is cruelly treated by Radio 4 programmers. How can the BBC in 1997 fail to provide a true every-ball-bowled service, which they accomplished with ease in 1957? Even the odd five minutes missed is a stab in the heart. Home by 4am.
Saturday, June 21: Back at Lord's refreshed after relaxing Friday. An in-and-out day spent loitering within tent and Allen Stand in the company of Aussie team relatives. England slump to 77 and then have a nightmare in the field making hosting the Australian side's loved ones an easy task. Mrs Matthew Elliott has a particularly good day. Bev Waugh, athletic and sparky mother of Mark and Steve, signs me up for tennis and swimming coaching next time I'm in New South Wales. I leave next Thursday. Home by 8pm, asleep by 9.30.
Sunday, June 22: Almost zero prospect of play does not prevent 100 per cent turn-out of friends and gate-crashers in box for free lunch. When play finally begins, almost at the end of the day, the hour-and-a-half is as fascinating as one could hope for. Australia playing with one-day fervour for fast runs, England at one point taking three wickets for nothing. Reflect that had the day's play begun on time, the approach of both sides would have been completely different. In which other sport would rain do anything other than delay play? Give Richie Benaud a lift back to his hotel. Rewarded with Richie's incisive personal summary of the match to date. Do not therefore have to watch highlights and have much-needed early night.
Monday, June 23: At last a full day's play, and a fine one too. England restore honour and all are delighted to see Mark Butcher break through. An England victory was never remotely a possibility after Saturday which quietly pleased super-patriot Jonathan Wyatt, whose father, R E S, will now go down in history as the only England captain to beat Australia at Lord's in the 20th Century. Despite the vile weather, this has actually been a gripping match with much to admire and enjoy. Attempt non-cricket evening by going to see Everly Brothers at the Albert Hall, who open their act with Bowling Green. No escape.