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R.I.P. English cricket, World Chumps, bottom of the pile. Sack the lot of them and just play series against Kenya in future. These statements are all very amusing in a morbid kind of way but the knee-jerk reactions need a touch of sober realism.

First, a comparison. England have played nine Test Series in the last three years. Five have been lost, three won and one drawn. Between early 1984 and late 1987, the Australians failed to win a single one of the eight series they played. Six were lost (two each to West Indies, England and, wait for it, New Zealand) and two drawn (against India). A decade or so later they are indisputably the best team in the world. That puts England's recent form into context.

It is the way we lose which is so humiliating. Once the early defences have been breached, England have all the resistance of a bamboo barricade. Andrew Caddick excepted, the lower-order batting is gutless.

You cannot exclusively blame nine, 10, jack for England's recent failings but a flimsy tail has two side effects. One, it puts extra pressure on the main batsmen, who are conscious that there is no safety valve. Two, it is a fillip to the opposition who know that if they can get rid of the first five, the rest will fall like nine-pins.

A strong tail is reassuring, especially to a team who have had their backs to the wall for as long as they can remember, and demoralising to their opponents. The tough, inner kernel of the Australians has been Healy (No 7), Reiffel (eight) and Warne (nine); of South Africa it is Pollock, Boucher and Klusener; for New Zealand Cairns, Nash and Vettori. England's in the last Test was Irani, Caddick and Mullally, who, after seven ducks in 10 Test innings, was promoted two places in the order.

Adhering to the Sir Alex Ferguson school of rhetoric, Nasser Hussain loyally praised his players rather than condemning them, saying he was proud of their ``determination, attitude and body language''. The key word here is attitude.

There is plenty of skill in this England side and no little determination, but they cower in the face of aggression. A communal lack of confidence undermines their resilience. A huff and a puff from the New Zealanders' big bad wolf, Chris Cairns, and the house falls in. Try analysing England batsmanship live on TV. By the time you have found the right camera angle to discuss a player's technique, the bloke is on his way back.

As usual the inquests are now in full swing and the culprits (pitches, the system, coaching) identified. A working party will shortly be assembled to report back in 2005. Here is a short-term suggestion to address our batting (and bowling) ills. Change the way we practise.

England work hard before and during games but their net sessions are too much of a ritual. Bowlers amble in for a few minutes to loosen up, often overstepping the line, batsmen face a hotchpotch of 'feeders' to get the feel of ball on bat. It is about as close to a match situation as taking penalties against your eight-year-old son.

There is one ingredient missing in a net: pressure. Loose balls get slapped for no penalty, sloppy defence is penetrated for no punishment. Net practice in the English game is a cosy escape rather than a raw examination.

This is symptomatic of the way English professionals go about their business. Net practice is conducted by tired players on poor surfaces cultivating a sort of autopilot state which is disrupted only in the severest crisis. The way they play is just a natural extension of the way they practise. It is the source of the ``going through the motions'' accusations.

Australians have nets too, of course, but their approach is rather different. The practice pitches are excellent for starters, and the best players simulate match situations. Steve Waugh curses loudly if he plays and misses, Justin Langer asks you what field you're bowling to. Glenn McGrath gives Michael Bevan a going over. This attitude stems from grade cricket where twice-a-week net practice is an exercise in one-upmanship.

Practice facilities in this country are often substandard and the players are often too weary to take nets seriously, so it might be worth introducing more middle practice. Here you bat against proper bowling on a decent pitch with slips, gullies and batpads. There are no hiding places.

It is not a panacea but it might help their focus and also enhance England's abysmal running between the wickets. For the moment net culture should be left to surfers of the World Wide Web.