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This Test has demonstrated graphically to me many of the frustrations that go with being England captain. First there was the case of the fate that has befallen two of our leading fast bowlers. Then, yesterday, came the huge personal blow of fracturing the top joint on the middle finger of my right hand, an injury that will probably keep me out of the Old Trafford Test.

The absence at Lord's of Darren Gough and Alex Tudor has again demonstrated the potential for clashes of interests that exists in our cricket between the counties and England. I am not blaming anybody. I just want to make sure the ludicrous situation which developed here last Wednesday is never allowed to happen again. For if ever there was a case which illustrates the difficulties of reconciling county and country interests then this is it. The result has been confusion as to who is in charge of a player's welfare and who makes the decisions over his fitness. The only losers are England and the players concerned.

To take the Gough position first. As I said last week, I was a bit concerned to hear that Darren appeared to be rushing back quickly after injury to play for Yorkshire against Warwickshire. Now it seems he definitely did come back too quickly. Of course Darren will want to play whenever possible - that is natural and commendable. But maybe someone, somewhere should have urged caution because we may now be without him for the rest of the series.

The Tudor situation is a very different one. When I left the press conference I undertook with Alex, our man-of-the-match and England's new hero, after our victory at Edgbaston, he was definitely not going to play for Surrey at Derby the next day. Only when I saw his name on the scorecard in the papers did I realise that he did play straight after our win and he has been playing for Surrey ever since.

Then the next thing we know he's unavailable to play for England in the Lord's Test. The whole country wanted to see Alex Tudor in this match, not just me and the England players and officials. His picture was on the front of the programme and all the television advertising boards in the lead up to the Test and 30,000 people turned up here on Thursday morning expecting to watch him. His absence was a huge disappointment and there must be a better system to make sure our leading players are not in the situation where they are regularly playing for their counties and then not their country.

The whole affair certainly lends credence to the central contracting of England players because it might give us all a clue as to who is answerable to whom and it may give us a set procedure that we can all follow.

The first I heard about Alex's problem was at 9pm on Wednesday when he came back from his scan. My reaction was one of utter surprise and annoyance with the system. I certainly did not know he was going for a scan and, as far as I'm aware, no one from England knew either. But I was not unduly upset.

That is because if there was one bowler I would like to be able to call up in those circumstances it would be Dean Headley. He was unlucky not to play at Edgbaston and it was not an easy decision to leave him out of the proposed team this time. Now I had to go down to the hotel bar, drag Dean out, tell him to put down his Guinness and get ready to play.

Then we had to put our minds to a replacement in the 12, a search which eventually led us to asking poor old Angus Fraser to drive all the way up from Taunton and back again. Chris Silverwood was mentioned, as was Ed Giddins, but I eventually decided there was nothing better than an annoyed Angus Fraser, so he had to be the man. The thought of him driving up to Chiswick and having to turn round and go back to Taunton does, I have to admit, make me smile.

Actually, it made sense on all levels. Silverwood was in Scarborough and had been on the field for Yorkshire at all times. Gus had not done too much bowling at Taunton, so was relatively fresh and, as I saw at first hand at Southend last week, is bowling very well at the moment. Add the fact that the match was at his home ground and his sheer reliability and Angus gained the nod for what proved to be a wasted but necessary journey.

The match itself soon wiped the smile from my face. The forecast on Thursday was for a cloudy morning followed by a sunny afternoon. I looked at the pitch and it looked flat with a few cracks and the possibility of it becoming uneven, as Lord's tends to do. So it was a fairly simple decision to bat upon winning the toss and at 100 for two we looked on course for the sort of score we required. But the clouds stayed, the light was just about good enough for play, New Zealand bowled well, there was big swing and again we didn't bat nearly as well as we have to do if we are to compete successfully as a Test nation.

Yesterday increased the agony. My finger was hurt as I attempted to stop an Adam Parore cut in the gully as we strived for the important breakthroughs. The disappointment is overwhelming, particularly as I have been in good form all season and consider my first-innings 61 to be among the best Test knocks I have played in recent times. For the time being we must think solely of England's fate in this Test match. Then I will turn my attention to getting fit as quickly as possible.