CricInfo Home
News Home

NEWS FOCUS
Rsa in Pak
NZ in India
Zim in Aus

Domestic
Other Series

What's an American waitress's parting comment, having set down a delicious fried breakfast in front of you? ``Enjoy.'' English cricket doesn't need new structures or a clairvoyant new coach. The team need an American waitress in the dressing room to send them on their way. Someone to banish those awful, careworn expressions from their faces. With the exception of Darren Gough, they always look so beleaguered and depressed, as if life is such a grind. They are the kind of people who, when asked how they are, say ``mustn't grumble'' in as grumbly a voice as possible.

OK, losing isn't fun. But playing cricket is, and it is about time some of them remembered that. An outdoor life, waited on hand and foot, playing something they (used to) love. Rediscovering that affection for the game may be the key that unlocks the talent.

England fail to perform through a combination of arrogance and boredom. Nick Knight, not at all an arrogant person, nonetheless wrote in his column after England's defeat by India: ``I cannot quite fathom how we haven't qualified. It is certainly a situation we never thought we'd be in.'' This is educated-speak for ``we wuz robbed''. Clearly, there was a general assumption that they would reach the next stage, though what this can have been based on after England's woeful recent one-day performances is not immediately obvious. If there were more humility, there might be more realism.

More crippling is this endemic feeling among the players that cricket is a chore. Alec Stewart said as much before the first game of this World Cup with his banal: ``Every competition we play in is a huge competition.'' I feel some sympathy for Stewart, because he has been reared in a climate of inflexible routine. Arrive at 9.15am, cup of tea at 9.20, in the nets for 9.30, warm-ups at 10, fielding practice at 10.15, cup of tea (plus custard cream) at 10.30. This regimentation is the crusher of individualism and self expression.

It is all part of our invidious system, which obliges everyone to prove himself and looks disapprovingly at non-conformists. Out of an original squad of 57, we still could not find a decent team. Yet the 19-year-old Pakistan all-rounder Abdul Razzaq was a selectorial hunch from Wasim Akram, his performances against Australia and the West Indies were crucial and he learnt a huge amount, in the New Zealand match, from batting with the streetwise Ijaz Ahmed.

Rather than admire the enthusiasm and skill of the Sri Lankans or Indians, we eye them with suspicion, allowing naturally pleasant, polite people to wind us up (the Australians make this mistake, too). Two days ago, a reader from Essex wrote in the letters page of the The Daily Telegraph that at next week's India-Pakistan match ``flags and banners should be prohibited. There should also be a total ban on drums and other instruments.'' These are just the things that have revitalised the grounds staging the World Cup. The English game must move on from its moribund traditions. If you don't like the noise, take earplugs.

It is time to take stock - again. If I were the new England coach, I would institute some changes - of attitude, more than personnel. Firstly, abolish this debilitating pre-match routine. Encourage individual responsibility.

Secondly, outlaw safety-first measures. Make 'economical' a dirty word. Wickets are more important than maidens. When Glenn McGrath was finally let loose on the West Indies after being employed previously to restrict in mid-innings, he knocked them over. As Pakistan and South Africa have shown, attack is the best form of defence - and it is a lot more fun. The grounds are full, and for once casual visitors are concocting crafty reasons to be let in, rather than clamouring to be let out.

At this week's Rover World Cricket Coaches' Conference in Birmingham, Bob Woolmer told 2,000 delegates that ``at any level, a coach must have a philosophy. Simply, mine is to teach the player the love of the game.'' Whoever gets the England job, the players would certainly benefit from the 'sunny-side up' factor.