Cricket - the more I play it the less I understand it!

Should I ever enter politics then I will campaign hard for every school to include cricket in its compulsory curriculum, as I can not think of anything that better teaches people how to cope with the full range of life's emotional highs and lows. On top of the world one minute and the depths of despair the next is the roller coaster that all first-class cricketers ride on, especially captains.

For captains, these emotions tend to be amplified because every twist and turn in the game has you thinking of ways in which to maintain, capitalise upon or reverse momentum. Wins are celebrated with greater vigour and losses hit harder and this is without taking into account the emotions involved in one's own form fluctuations.

Maybe I care too much; after all 'it is only a game'. But it is also a business - in fact, an ever increasing part of the entertainment industry and, as such, winning is important. An old coach once told me that if winning is not important then why do we bother keeping score! As participants in an entertainment business, we are liable to our own band of shareholders called supporters and I am certain many are keen to know what happened at Southgate during our Natwest Cup demise to Middlesex, when we were bowled out for 59 chasing 223 for victory!

In short, I have no idea. I wish I did but it was too terrible for any words or analysis. Someone suggested to me that it was just 'one of those days' but to have that day on what was so far our most important occasion of the season left me confused and emotionally drained.

We had set ourselves for a big competition and expectations were high after reaching the Final last year. Our form leading up to the game had been excellent (with five good days at Maidstone against Kent) and, over the season, we have scored five one-day wins from seven starts in the National League.

Conditions were certainly tough for batting and having to stay over an extra night to finish the game was less than ideal but these conditions also affected Middlesex. I think in hindsight 222 was an excellent score, perhaps fifty more than they should have made and they certainly exploited bowling conditions better than us.

Newspaper reports for the following few days made a lot of the fact that not much was done in the way of analysis after the event; in fact, one report even suggested that I owed it to the membership to give the guys a real blast. Well this is not how I saw it. I am a positive person by nature and I had and still have no doubts that we are a very good side and reinforced this message. Being bowled out for 59 was total garbage and defied explanation but, in a strange way, if you are to lose then it is sometimes better to be flogged than pipped at the post. Weird logic I know but much easier for the brain to deal with.

The nature of an English season is such that euphoric moments and disappointments both must be left in the past and I stressed the importance of leaving this one at Southgate. Happily, I can report that we did as our Championship form since has been consistently impressive.

This is not to say that the guys are not hurting. I can easily promote the notion that, if you are a member and you are feeling disappointed, then the disappointment of the players is magnified five-fold at least. We have missed out on a terrific opportunity but that's life in a knock-out competition!

We still have a bit over half the season remaining and we are well placed in both the four-day Championship and the one-day National League. There is still an opportunity for silverware at Taunton this year.

As for Southgate, to me it has earned a place in history alongside Roswell and the Bermuda Triangle!